Today being Sunday, was meant to be a day of rest. I was going to ride DD’s bike to Maybee (A small town South of Ann Arbor) for breakfast, but in the end decided to ride it on the dirt back roads near our condo. It was perfect weather for this and DD’s bike, a BMW (of course) F650GS, Bonnie’s baby sister, is lighter than Bonnie as she is not packing any pounds and is very maneuverable, so good fun particularly when you get her out of town. As long as Bonnie did not get to hear that I was playing around with her sister, there should be no “Strike Out”! Level 9 remember!

I ended up doing about 50 miles. After what I have been through, this is like enjoyable foreplay. No sooner had it started than it was over. I found a great  place in nearby Northville for breakfast and then came back for the big, big job – Giving Bonnie the lick and promise she has needed for the past few weeks.

Once in a while, I really like getting to grips with my girls and giving them a real spoiling. The full treatment, think of this like a full session at the beauty parlour. The one that includes the facial, manicure, pedicure, eye lash tint, waxing (Legs, Brazilian and Crack) –yes the full Monty. This is a very personal and intimate affair and it takes a few hours. To do the job properly means that all of those small hidden and intimate folds that a woman has, have to be accessed and caressed clean. No big pressure cleaner can do this job correctly. A delicate touch is needed and great attention to detail.

So I took her outside. Got myself ready for action, undressed except for my shorts to start with, a bit of modesty needed you know? Slowly but surely I methodically did what men and lovers have to do. The result is, well pretty spectacular. After her trip she cannot be restored entirely to her former youth. In fact a bit of minor wear and tear showing is very attractive. Like a woman after her first child, sexier than before.

Whilst I was enjoying being in the sun and being with her.  I was thinking about certain aspects of my trip and the plans that have been going through my head. For a while I have been mulling writing a book and the blog has been an attempt to get the creative juices flowing. What follows, was written by me after leaving Portland Oregon. I had some of these thoughts in my head and pulled into a Starbucks in Tillamook, where I grabbed a coffee and hooked up to the Internet.

Some of what you are about to read on the subject of Biker-Pilots has been incorporated into various later blogs. The stuff in italics is what I wrote on that day some five weeks ago. I hope you enjoy. Steekoog, please note that it is not a licence for further porno blogging about me!

So I am going to write a book. I wrote the bulk of this blog the night after I read  my Poppie friend’s blog. In it she was having a go at the latest rage, 50 Shades of Grey. I first heard about this book a few months ago and decided to buy it as a present for DD. Traveling husbands do this sort of thing and then leave these bits of erotica around, hoping that darling will pick it up in a moment of weakness and read it. Then Bob’s your aunt. When you spend lots of time apart, as we do, the danger exists that you become like ships in the night, passing each other without even knowing that you have done so.

After 31 years of a marriage that has included long periods apart, I figured 50 Shades was a good road map for relationship realignment. Unfortunately her take on the book was similar to Poppie’s. However the success of this book has had me thinking. Not that I have read it. I confess that it is on my Kindle along with a whole bunch of low-key romantic pseudo erotica.

Before you think that I have lost it, let me explain. When I upgraded my Kindle I gave my old one to our youngest daughter, Baby Platcool! She orders her books on my account and they live in the cloud along with all my purchases. So I can see what is going down in young woman’s minds.

Given the raging success of 50 Shades, these thoughts are also going on in more mature woman’s minds. The reason for this frustration is blatantly clear.

These women have not had a Biker-Pilot as a lover!

Girls until you have had a Biker-Pilot you will remain frustrated. Not just a biker and not just a pilot. He has to be a Biker-Pilot and therefore the hero of my book will be a Biker-Pilot.

I know you are on the edge of your seats wanting to know why the perfect lover hero has to be a Biker-Pilot. So let me tell you.

Only a Biker-Pilot has the following critical attributes. Of course he has to be a good or even great Biker-Pilot. A “nog schlepper” will not do. Great bikers and great pilots have the following critical attributes:

• Situational awareness.This is essential as there is no use in even planning a frontal assault on a bad day. You have to aware of the lie of the land at all times. When the weather is below minimums at your home airfield , you need to plan to hold for a while and have enough reserves for an approach and if this fails, a second shot at it. If still unsuccessful you need sufficient fuel in your tank for a quick approach to an alternative.Great bikers and pilots have situational awareness in sack full’s and can operate in most weather conditions and in heavy traffic.
• Tempo and Timing.Biking and flying are touch, feel and hearing dependent. You have to be in tune with your mount at all times. Riding and flying are all about getting your tempo and timing right. Never rushed, always the right line. Pace is critical. A light touch necessary most of the time. When you ride the optimum position of your hands is the right hand lightly on the throttle and the first two fingers on the brake, ready for an instant response in a change of situation. Your left hand also has two fingers lightly on the clutch, ready to change gear whenever the situation demands it. So more torque needed means clutch in, change down, release the clutch and twist the throttle. Both thumbs are free to flick the buttons as needed.

  The engine’s sound is always the critical guide. A slow contented purr means your tempo is right and the gear is perfect. An agitated rumble means a different gear is needed and probably more throttle. A banshee wail means that the limit is close and either you need to get into a higher gear or something is going to give.Pilots manage their aircraft using similar skills. Generally using a light touch on the joystick. But sometimes when the aircraft gets out of trim, or on older heavier models a firmer, less delicate touch, is needed. Its just that everything gets a bit sloppy with time and stretches which makes the feel part a bit more challenging. Adaptability to instant changes in weather, temperature, runways and loads are the name of the game when flying.

  Pilots also have to use both hands all the time.  One on the joystick to make sure the aircraft is headed exactly where you want it to go. The other on the throttles to set the speed. There is also a third variable on propeller driven aircraft, the pitch lever that controls the propeller’s angles Modern jets are like young girls, not too many levers to play with. Just full forward and flat out, so I will not go into the pitch control. Married men however will understand that this pitch lever is an essential control, one which gives them an added advantage in the game of life. They know how to deal with the screams of a runaway propeller!

• Dealing with different situations and emergencies.Both bikers and pilots have to be ready to deal with rapidly changing situations as part of their normal day-to-day operations. Girls, this is critical as it gives you the ability to be atypical and chop and change everything all of the time. This means that they will always find you interesting and challenging. Never boring when you act abnormally and indecisively.The ability to think on their feet and deal with difficult situations is a huge advantage. Emergencies do arise and their cool heads are essential. Especially if your husband or boy friend finds you with a Biker Pilot. Accountants and doctors are easy meat for them to deal with. Lawyers a bit more difficult, professional hunters extremely testing and even the most dangerous species, sisters, can be dealt with by Biker-Pilots. They can think on their feet and also when leaping off their mounts in an emergency.Remember that they are also trained to deal with loss of control and the occasional engine failures as well.
• Cheek and Bravado.These are also key requirements in a good lover. No one wants a boring lover. You need to be spurred to great heights and this requires a bit of a challenge at all times. Bikers and pilots are never boring. At least not the good ones.Imagine the following situation. Your man and his friend are in your lounge. They are drinking and the friend will not leave. Eventually you retire in disgust to sleep. The next morning you have to go to work. You are in the bathroom getting ready.Your husband, a doctor, staggers in. He apologises and looks for pills.Alternatively your husband, a Biker-Pilot staggers in. Sits on the loo and watches you for a few minutes. He then asks you what the chances are of your making him bacon and eggs to help get rid of his hangover?

  Which one will you love more. The doctor wanker or the character. For sure you will be laughing about the Biker-Pilot for many years to come whereas you will just have the shits about the doctor husband for years.

  You will always have more to talk about, good or bad, with the Biker-Pilot. Characters are what makes the world go around.

• Adventurous by nature but not warped.Bikers and pilots are happy to try all sorts of things. They are adventurous by nature. Different riding styles and positions are the norm. Bikers in particular have to be able to ride standing up and also, on occasion hanging on by their finger tips. This is really important in a runaway situation when control is difficult. Sometimes this also occurs when aircraft are near terminal velocity and they are bucking around, a pilot has to be cool and adapt his technique accordingly.Most importantly bikers do not like playing near or in the exhaust pipe as they have learnt from bitter experience that this a hot, dirty and high-risk area. Pilots also know that tail gunning has the highest mortality rate and so stay clear as well.This means that with a Biker-Pilot you can push the limit, knowing that he is in control to ensure your enjoyment without ever having to worry about a sneak attack whilst your guard is down.This last attribute will immediately eliminate certain characters from the lead role in my novel.
• All weather operations.Bikers and pilots need to be able to operate in all weather conditions, wet or dry. Slippery roads and runways. Morning, noon or night. Hot or cold.The morning I when I left Portland for the coast, and because I was having to operate in heavy traffic and needed all my situational awareness I decided not to put my music on. I wanted to be able to hear and feel Bonnie and the potential assassins around me.Within 20 minutes I was out of town and in the countryside.  Having got started on this train of thought this morning, after the blog about 50 shades last night, my mind was racing. I never got to put the music on and 60 miles to the coast rushed by.I lingered on this aspect of being able to operate at all times and under all conditions. Bonnie, my US bike, likes a short warm up in the morning and then a quick hard burst of activity to get the juices going. After that she can keep going all day.

  Jayne, my British bike, is like all Brits happy to operate in all weather conditions. She has to be as in the UK the weather is all over the place. In cold winters she prefers a cuddle and slow gentle start before I twist the throttle.

  Spot, in South Africa, is great for getting on and getting going in summer. Already warm by the time I get her out, no further warm up is needed.

  Lesley is, as I said very frisky, but is from a different era. Of my bikes, she is the only one whose name relates to someone once in my life. Normally my past is of the “ no names, no pack drill” or as Baby Platcool always tells me “what goes on tour, stays on tour” rules. But the real Lesley was long ago and has passed on into the after life.

  So bikers have to be able to adapt to these changes seamlessly.

  Pilots are all trained to do a full pre-flight before starting. This means that they are fully aware of their mounts wants and needs before they start the flight. Trained to ensure the oil and other operating temperatures are in the normal range and the other controls checked for full, correct and free movement before starting the flight, means that they can get on and go with everything properly prepared.

  So the said Great Biker-Pilot combination is absolutely perfect for every girl.

Back to Sunday evening. I am now getting my head around incorporating these bits and pieces into some sort of book. The issue I have with it all, is that as my friend Steekoog says, without names it is not a story. Every great story is based on some connection with real people and reality. Too many of the characters in my life, are still around. In some cases their egos are much too fragile to take any tangible and recognisable link, so I am trying to figure a work around.

Coming next will be my last blog of this series, at least until my next big motorcycle trip in South America next January. This will be, as I have said, a summary of my trip.

Until then, from Northville in Michigan, where Bonnie sparkles and has been put to bed for a while ( if I need to ride it will be, with Bonnie’s permission, on Little Bonnie), good night and good luck.

Copyright 2012