The final two days of riding and then saying goodbye and dropping off my new friend in Punta Arenas.

Just as we are starting to get to know each other, we will have to break the bond. And I also learning some very useful stuff. For a start I could not work out why I was finding it so difficult to get my feet down every time I stopped. The answer was easy once I worked it out. The suspension setting is different to/from my other two BMW’s and the setting for one person plus luggage is such that it raises the suspension height by about 6 cms higher than my other bikes, and this was enough to make it really difficult to get my feet down properly, with the knock on effect of my feet sliding out from under me and the bike tipping over. When you are tall, this rarely happens but I have watched the shorties battle for years.  This is of course very embarrassing and a “fall off” always happens in front of everyone who is by that time waiting to get going and they also know you personally.

The purpose of next two days is really only to enable us to drop our motorbikes off in Punta Arenas, which is in Chile. Moto Aventura, the organization from whom we have rented the bikes, is Chilean based. Customs regulations in South America make it virtually impossible to drop off Chilean registered bikes in Argentina. Our bikes are from Puerto Montt midway between Santiago and Puerto Natales. The bottom line is we are going to retrace our tracks and ride back from whence we had come from. We are not going to sleep at Cerro Sombrero but rather stop a bit earlier in Punto Grande. There is nothing Grande about this dump. We have been warned about this place and not getting our hopes up.

ET realises we have made it through Customs and border controls for the final time.

We are staying at the local casino, normally this means a good room and good food. Right on the former and wrong on the latter. We get great rooms but have been warned that in the morning, when we try to check out, we will have to have our rooms checked to ensure that we have not stolen anything from them. I have quick look around and there is not one thing in the room that I would like to keep as a memento!. Our bigger and more pressing problem is finding a decent meal this evening!

In the afternoon ET and I have a short walk around the town and there is nothing striking in this place. Biggest thing going for the area is that it is home to a few of the squadrons that were involved in the Falklands war. These were the only units that ended up covered in any glory after the conflict. The pilots had a thankless job: take off over loaded with fuel, rockets and machine gun bullets.

Fly a couple of hundred miles over the ocean in a single engine fighter aircraft. Fly over the island (Heavily defended) swoop in to Darwin bay. Release your bomb/s and or missiles, shoot at a few Brits on the way in and then get the hell out of there knowing that it was unlikely that you would have enough fuel to get back safely.

Day after day, with comrades and squadron mates being shot down around them everyday, These valiant pilots continued to fly, knowing full well that “their day” was shouting at them and was probably today! Their generals knowing full well that if this conflict continued they would lose more and more of their valuable fighter jocks! Without these hero’s there was no war. The Malvinas (As the Falklands are known in Argentina) still evoke visible emotional outbursts from Argentinians and in their minds the war has not been lost – NEVER EVER!!! They still talk about it as if it is currently underway.

We are going to eat in and have a very early start in the morning. We have a major border crossing which promises to be a pain as it is the start of an Argentinian long weekend. This means most of Ushuaia will be looking to save money by shopping   in Punto Arenas.

We are weather broken in for the coast over the Garibaldi Pass, with rain, light snow and some ice on the way. A fair amount of wind as well. There is no other route choice in or out of Ushuaia. The alternative is a small farm road that eventually will get us to another ferry over the Magellan Straights, but it does not run on a timetable and involves an extra 200km at the other end.

After the Garribaldi, we are going to the bakery at Tolhuin, to see what, if anything, we missed a few days before.

So what, if anything, did we miss?

Nothing that I coud see.

There were lots of sugar and sweet covered things to eat. Can’t do any of these anymore!

Sodas and average coffee, I don’t do soda’s and their coffee’s were poorly.

The disappointing thing about the Panaderia is that nothing was really good, including the staple food of the area, the Empenadas. It has just become a tourist trap.

And ET was once again chased by the dogs!  As you will soon see, he will need the practice.

So we are off again and on the way to Rio Grande. This evening I was once again trying to work out why we were in Rio Grande (Shithole) in the first place and not somewhere nicer on the coast.

The first answer is easy -there is nowhere nicer! This is not a particularly “nice” coast. If you want nice you need to keep going all the way to the west coast. Fortunately, Chile is not very wide so the West Coast is never too far away and “nice” is always nearby. Argentina does not have a “west coast” – OK you got it!!

So, two shitty cups of coffee and no sweeties later, we are on the way, knowing that some serious “Dog dodging” is going to be needed. I thought we had made it when the intercom in my ear let me know that the dogs were on form! ET was once again ducking and diving behind me! It would turn out to be essential practice for a world class late night “Dog Dodger and miss the chasing crowd player” in Punta Arenas.

If we had any idea of what was waiting for us, in ambush, in Punta Arenas, I think we would have had a trip rethink! We also had the very worst ever – and I mean the worst ever, ever customs and border post crossing. On the Argentinian side we had hundreds of vehicles and people, but nothing equipped us for the Chilean side, normally a sea of smooth organisation, but today literally hundreds of vehicles and people all in the middle of nowhere with too few officials to service us. But we were pretty much stuffed with no choices here!

So it was definitely:

1. The ferry over the Magellean Straights.
2. The Customs and Border post at San Sebastian.
3. Try and find something to eat.

The Cutom’s Queue stretched 2 kms down the road before it even reached the small revenue building. Freezing cold with a biting wind – so the queue went into the building before folding back on itself and winding inside the snake and then across and forming a new and parallel line. We had come through this same customs post at San Sebastian three days earlier without a second’s delay. And this time round we had a three hour delay in the hall of the Chilean building. Thankfully inside and not outside in the freezing wind. A very aggressive and arrogant group of truck drivers arrived and according to my translator (whom I have no reason not to believe) that they were instantly told what they could do with themselves after they had complained. They certainly got a message

Just fallen over and been helped up.

I am not going to bore you with more roads over the Garibaldi Pass, other than to say this is another area into which would be ski area moguls are about to sink lots of money. And then loose it. Concrete is being poured in an obviously inferior skiing area, but I would suppose that these developers have some smart people hovering around the periphery.

Into town simply poses a new set of road related problems, and we can’t wait. Cruising along the main drag at Punta Arenas, I see out of the corner of my right eye, an Argentinian Sky Hawk jet returning from a sortie in the Malvinas – low, dark and dangerous. It comes hurtling down the road past me, dives through the side traffic in an unbelievable display of situational awareness, straightens up, turns on the power and carries on. By now you will have worked out that this is not an Argentinian Pilot Hero returning to collect the medals, but rather a traffic dodging dog from Tolhuin, focused resolutely on ET. ET in turn, is pretty focused on not ending up (on his back) in the road.

This Kamikaze pilot keeps this up for about 5 blocks and then stops as quickly as he started. When we get to our hotel the wind is pumping, and I mean pumping! So I mount the pavement and offload immediately outside the hotel. Which by the way looks very nice. Definitely way too much shit with me! Next time, if there is one, will be with a vestige of what I have here. Two elevator rides later and I am in my room. Before doing this, in an act of magnanimity and unselfishness, I ride my bike off the pavement and park it next to someone else’s, which is standing in the road. So I leave mine exactly there.

Back to my room for a shower. Into this and no sooner in than the phone starts ringing, I ignore, it rings, I ignore etc.. It is Simon. I rush downstairs , no motorbike! I wet myself, stolen today! Not possible, I suppose it is, but this would be a travesty. Simon is babbling. He has moved it, picked it up and moved it! Why did it need a “Pick Up?”

So the picked up is because the wind is so strong that it has blown a 300 kg motorcycle off its’ side stand and onto its side. This has, in turn completely split the Right Hand Rear Plastic Pannier and this is going to cost me money. So I have basically kept the bike upright and undamaged all the way from Puerto Montt to the very, very end, some 4,500 km further on. Now at the very , very end, I incur the only damage that is going to cost me some money. I am delighted to be here but upset that the bike has been damaged.

There is still a way to go. I have to get this baby to Moto Adventura and into their safe hands before it is really and truly over. Plus, believe it or not, I have to buy another dry bag. This often becomes an issue at the end of a trip when you have been collecting little bits and pieces along the way. Finally the laws of Physics reach their capacity and the bags simply cannot be stretched or crumpled any further. So I have reached this point. It is also not simply because of what I have bought. There are a few extra people on the ride with me in the same position. Because of my British Airways Life Time Gold Traveler Status I have a great baggage allowance and I am going to have to help people get home to the UK by carrying excess luggage for them. This is no problem as I am no longer continually trying to hold the record for the fastest traveler on and off the aircraft. Actually it really only becomes an issue when you are stuck in the middle of the aircraft or waiting for luggage at the collection, so as these are neither my issue given how little I fly. I am much more interested in how comfortable the ride is going to be.

So we are off to Moto Adventura, which is fortunately not too far away, and the bikes are handed in. I point out the damage to my pannier. The sms recording the charge is through on my phone and the money off my card in less time than it takes to blink. I suspect and based on the hidden damage to my front tire, that unless the damage is apparent and completely obvious, they seemake very little in the way of refunds.

It is always a bit of a sad moment when you have to say goodbye to a girlfriend, no matter how brief the interlude has been. This lady has shared my waking moments almost exclusively for the past three weeks, so I have to have a connection. Might not want to be a “Spend the rest of my life with you connection” Not always, as sometimes you just cannot get out of there quickly enough, almost giving a leap of joy as you pass through the door on the way out.

Funny things about us humans, on the way in we cannot get enough and the add the word “quickly” to the front of the “enough”. There is no doubt our greed and drive to always wanting more and bigger and better is a major driver of how society is structured and what its drivers are. As a leader if you can understand these and use them, then you have real power.

So I am going to be saying goodbye to my companion of three weeks. This lass has not really done it for me!. We have never really formed that bond that makes for the difference between good sex and great sex. Good sex for sure! Great sex not yet! Unlikely to have it happen as well as it has not yet happened and the conditions are not yet really conducive. Sometimes you start off slowly and build up over time to the threshold, then fall over it into paradise. Sometimes you never get there. Months of trying and it is never going to be really great, that total comfort and in sync you need for great riding, is not going to happen today or tomorrow.

This baby is not going to get a name! (Not from me) and I am not going to offer to buy her either!